WTF?

Motherhood has officially kicked me in the ass. I had this running debate with friends on what was worse. Morning sickness with dry heaving and no result or morning sickness with very violent vomiting(unfortunately I experienced both.)

I am one of the lucky ones that gets to experience morning sickness throughout the day. First pregnancy it started around 9 weeks or so. This pregnancy at about 5 weeks. I was feeling pretty smug that it didn't seem to be quite as bad as before. Damn me and my smugness.

Today was my little slap in the face. Quite literally, as I am puking, water and god knows what sprayed me in the face as I puked into the porcelain God. Not only was I vomiting right after I ate one little piece of toast, but those lovely muscles "down there" decided to fail me and make me piss myself just as my husband was coming in to check on me.

Thank you Motherhood for taking that time to make me realize that it could be worse. I was just starting to accept the stretch marks left behind by Benjamin. Now I also have this little gift to look forward to.

Why do I blog?

I am part of an online community of women. It is full of smart, supportive, and amazing ladies. The lovely Liz has decided to give us blog challenges. No surprise here that I am doing it late. :)

Why do I blog?

This is such an interesting way to start. Honestly, I started to blog so that I could write a little diary to myself to remember what life was like during my pregnancy. If I am being honest with myself, it was to show people how I was a person separate from my child. I had a lot of worries that I would become a Mommy and that no one would see me as anything else.

I have always loved writing. I wrote my first play in 3rd grade and my first book at 16. My first play involved the adventures of Strawberry Shortcake and her gang. I even got my friends to act it out for our class. I believe that this was a key time in my creative process. My teacher at the time, couldn't stand me and never tried to foster my writing skills. My book was my foray into the romance genre. I haven't read it in years, but I would guess that it was pretty terrible.

I wasn't sure what to do when I got to college, so I majored in English. What else does a girl who likes to read and write do? I had an awful case of writer's block my senior year and decided then and there that I couldn't be a writer. I have been intimidated by writing ever since. Truth be told, this blog is the closest thing to writing that I have done since college.

I don't know how to post pictures and this blog has blossomed into a "Mommy" blog, but I am okay with that. I am also okay with how I have changed since becoming a mommy. I am a lot more patient in some ways and a a little less self centered.

I hope this answered the question or that it gave you, the reader, a little more insight into who I am.

I look forward to more blog challenges.

and I'm afraid Benjamin's first real sentence will involve

the term "F'ing douchebag." I need to clean up my language.

I'm a bad blogger...

So much for my dream of being like the girl from dooce. I love her and I want to be payed for my blog. Any sponsors out there?

A lot has been happening in the Cerruti household lately. We bought a house. We haven't moved in yet, but we are super close. We are so happy about it. It is truly becoming a labor of love. Brian's labor, my love.

Benjamin celebrated his very first birthday. He looked adorable smashing his cake. It seemed to go on and on. The kid loves to be a ham and loved the attention. Not sure where he gets that from.

Just as I was preparing to enjoy the new hot tub at the new digs, I find out that we are expecting #2. We are super excited and can't wait to find out if Benjamin will have a little brother or sister.
Maybe this week I will be motivated to catch up more on this blog. Don't hold your breath.

Stinkerpants Giveaway

I am totally in love with Sara's designs at Stinkerpants Designs. I have been eyeing an ABC poster there for weeks. Lucky for me, my mom wants to purchase it today. :)

Sara is doing a giveaway to one lucky winner. Go to http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/living/2009/08/25/stinkerpants-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-2556

or to
http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/living/2009/08/25/stinkerpants-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-2556

for details.

So much has happened in the last few months...

I have been reminded a few times how much I have lagged in blogging lately. Not really surprising to me. I tend to be a huge procrastinator. Shocking, to those that know me. ;o

Benjamin has changed so much in the last 2 months. The biggest milestone is that he has learned to crawl and pull himself up. I am afraid that he seems to have my knack for banging himself into things. For me it is my extremities for him it is his head.

Not a day goes by that people don't tell me how cute you are. I would usually chalk it up to bs, but it is so true. Every day someone comments on your beautiful long eyelashes. You got that from the Millers. Thank goodness my Grandpa passed on that awesome trait.

You are truly an easy baby and I feel so lucky to be your mama. You have 6 teeth and eat like a champ. Love most veggies and fruit. You are now getting shredded chicken, cheese, and toast. You seem to have my carb addiction too. You love grilled and cheese quesadillas.

You are so in love with your Daddy too. I have heard that boys are always Mama's boys, but you reach for your Daddy whenever you see him. Every night after your bath, you practically jump out of my arms to get to him. Can't really blame you, Daddy gives great hugs. :)

You also have a lot of new baby friends. You don't seem super interested in playing with them. You mostly just wants to poke them, steal their toy, or pull their hair. This seems to be more of a Cerruti trait. ;)

Much to my chagrin, you seem to have Daddy's personality too. You are stingy with the laugh and smile. Luckily, you aren't like this at home. I hope you have a little bit of Mommy in there too. It is good to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

You love bath time, crawling after Chewy to get his toy, trying to pull Lola's hair, and chewing on a pacifier.

Your first birthday is approaching and it actually makes me a bit teary eyed. Where did the year go?

There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed.

MAMA!

Yesterday was Benjamin's 7 month birthday. He also chose this day to say his first word. "Mama." I can't tell you how excited it makes me that he chose this to be his first word. You hear that "dada" is easier for them. I assumed he would say that first.

Actually it has been a running joke in our house that his first words would be "CHEW CHEW" followed by "NO!" These are the words spoken most often by Brian and I when we are trying to stop Chewy from doing something wrong. ;)

Of course, I wasn't even in the room when he chose to say mama. I was putting away laundry and daddy was holding him. I heard it though and it warmed my heart. He repeated it over and over for his Daddy. Just smiled at me when I tried to get him to say it again.

What I didn't expect was that I would feel awful hearing it at 5:15 this morning. Benjamin woke up wet. I had to change his pajamas and any mother knows how much a baby hates to be changed in the middle of the night. Usually Benjamin cries. It makes me sad. This morning he chose to say "MAMA" over and over again as if he was begging and pleading with me to stop. It seriously broke my heart. Made me want to cry.

Anyway, they say they grow up too fast and to enjoy it while you can. I believe "they" are right.

I've hit an all time low. TMI

So Benjamin is not much of a napper. If he does nap it usually involves falling asleep while nursing. He unlatches and will sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour. I cherish this time. I can type on the computer or eat lunch if it is already prepared.

Anyway, imagine how bad I felt when just minutes into said nap, I had to go to the bathroom. Bad. I knew that if I woke him, he would not go back to sleep. My dilemma was that I would have to let him sleep on my Breast Friend Pillow or put him in his crib where he would cry and be generally unhappy for hours. This seemed like a no brainer to me.

What I didn't mention is that I sometimes don't rehook my bra when he unlatches. So this time I decided to get up and Benjamin took his sleepy opportunity to latch on again. So here I was Breastfeeding while on the pot. Gross and possibly unsanitary to say the least.

Seriously I am the person that has the worst stage fright when it comes to going to the bathroom when others are around. Even if they are rooms away.

Moral of the Story-You never know what lengths you will go to for a sleeping baby.

The Sisterhood of Motherhood?

I have always disliked women ripping on women. I never understood why a woman blames another woman when their spouse or significant other cheats. That woman didn't take a vow. She obviously is just another woman with low self esteem and is willing to take some one's sloppy seconds. I am not letting a woman off the hook for it, I am just saying she isn't the one you should have a beef with. I digress.......

When it comes to Motherhood, women become extremely judgemental and catty. There are so many options and everyone thinks that they are making the best choice for their baby. Should I breastfeed or bottle feed? Should I use cloth diapers, co-sleep, go back to work full-time? There are so many questions and no matter what choice you make, you feel guilty for making it.

It all starts with your birth plan. Are you going natural? If not expect to hear from a few(or more) about how natural is the way to go. I fell into the trap and had misgivings about caving and asking for an epidural. I felt a little better later when others mentioned that Pitocin also made contractions come fast and hard. I still cried about it a week post baby because I felt like a bit of a failure.

I feel bad that any woman would feel judged in a group of her peers. I mean really? Are you so sure of every choice you make about being a parent?

Honestly, the things I remember about what make my Mom a great mom have nothing to do with the choices she made when I was an infant. My mom is a great mom because of all of the wonderful memories I have. Here are a few....

1. My earliest memory is of my mother walking me to preschool. We would sing "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. Think I'll eat some worms."
2. My mother was always there for me. She worked full time, but always answered her phone at work and talked to me.
3. My mother had no problem with driving me to dance, to the mall, or to the movies to meet my friends.
4. She listened to me chatter on incessantly about my friends and what they were up to. She also listened to me talk about my latest crush. Believe me I had a lot of crushes over the years.
5. My mother also had to endure living with a very unhappy family when we were uprooted and moved to another state.
6. I respected my mother so much more when I had my own baby. There was a new understanding that I find hard to put into words. Most importantly, I was able to sleep while my mother rocked and comforted Benjamin. All new mothers know how important their sleep is. ;)

Anyway, my point is I don't have any recollection of my mother having a super easy and med free birth. I don't remember her breastfeeding me for 14 months. I don't remember cloth diapers. What I do remember is that she loved me with all she had and that she made the right choices for HER. In the end shouldn't that be the right choice for your child?

The Days of Sleeping Through the Night Are Long Gone.

Benjamin has decided that he no longer requires sleep. The doctor thinks I should start stuffing him with solids. Day one of that experiment proved futile. I am so exhausted, but I am thankful that we experienced 5 1/2 months of good sleeping.

I have found a correlation between my mood and the state of my hair and skin at that very moment.

If my hair is freshly highlighted and cut, I feel great. If my skin is clear and balanced, I feel great. My hair is a mess and my skin couldn't be any worse, I feel like sh!t.

I can't see a dermatologist today and I can't get my hair done until next week, I think it's time to go shopping. Momma needs a new pair of shoes.

I see why women get the Mommy haircut.

It has always taken me at least an hour to an hour and a half to get ready. Blame it on me not being a natural beauty. I know, what a shocker. ;) Anyway, I take about 10-15 minutes on minimal makeup, but the most time consuming thing for me is my hair.

I was born with gobs of it and it isn't the kind that is wash and wear. My husband even calls me Bruce Villanch when I let it go natural. Unfortunately, I can't be one of those women that just cuts her hair shorter to save time. If anything, it takes me longer to control it when it is short.

So I have become one of those moms that looks a mess most days and doesn't even get her hair combed. In fact, I'm not even sure I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror until after 9:00 p.m. or so.

My options seem limited. Benjamin, you are just going to have to weather the storm with me by sitting patiently while I dry my hair. I will also try to limit how long it takes me to run a flat iron over it.

Never be one of those moms that says that you will never let yourself go. It happens to the best of us. Even the high maintenance girls like me.

Since I seem to be lagging at blogging lately, I have decided to give myself a challenge at the end of each post. My Challenge for next time will be to blog in a stream of conscienceness manner a la Jack Kerouac. Hard for my readers to read, but kind of neat for a Mommy with not a lot of time.

New Years Resolutions Starting January 7, 2009

I am not the type of person that makes these(mostly because I know I will break them.) However, I have decided that there are some things I need to change.

1. I must stop talking to my husband the way I do. Over the last few months, I find myself getting really short with him and I say some awful things. This causes him to respond in a not so nice way. It is not healthy and I need to stop.

2. I need to start eating healthier. We eat out way too much and that leads me to make unhealthy choices. There is no reason why I can't learn to meal plan and cook healthier alternatives.

3. I need to read more. I use to be the girl that devoured a few books a week. I need to spend more time reading again and ditch the TV. I mean do I really need to watch another episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County?

4. Be a great Mommy. I think I do alright, better than alright in my humble opinion. However, I want to be the best Mom. I want my children to look back on their lives and think I did a great job.

5. Become more organized. I want the organized calendar. I want my filing cabinet to be immaculate. No more piling papers up to be filed.

6. I want to start taking control of my health care again. I have always gone to the dentist, eye doctor, gynecologist, etc. like clock work. I hate to admit this, but I haven't been to the dentist in 4 years. Yikes!

That's it for now. No more excuses.