Losing yourself

I've always wanted to be a Mom. I was not ready up until about a year ago. People ask how do you know when you are ready? I don't really have an answer for that.

I found the guy, we are financially stable and it just felt like the right time.

Part of me realizes that I am a very selfish person. I have pretty much always gotten what I wanted. The idea that someone will come before me scares the living daylights out of me.

I have always made fun of my friends that have given their whole life fo their children. It is sometimes hard to have adult conversations with these friends without interruptions.

I wonder, will I become uninteresting to my friends without kids?

I have always felt lucky that I can have time to myself when on the phone or just sleeping in. All of that is about to change in three months.

Boy am I scared.

I even wanted to avoid talking about my pregnancy when I started this blog. I think I was a bit in denial about the fact that it has changed me.

I've spent hours researching things like carseats and strollers. I worry that my next car purchase won't be safe enough for my kids. Weird things that I never thought about before.

For my friends that don't have kids, feel free to tell me if you don't want to hear about my baby. I would understand because I have been there. Just go easy and remember that I'm still me. Crazy, self absorbed Shannon.

My first love = Shopping

I actually wrote a post yesterday and then managed to erase it. :(

Anyway, I realized at an early age that there was one thing I had a talent for. Shopping. I have always liked to shop. It could be for handbags, shoes, clothes, make up, or even home decor items. So when I decided to go looking for baby bedding, I thought it would be an easy task. I was wrong.

If I was having a girl, it would have been so easy. I would diva out her room. Maybe use some black and white toile with an awesome accent color like hot pink, lemon, or tiffany blue. She would have her very own chandelier. Her shoe selection would rival Carrie Bradshaw. I could dress her to the nines. Don't get me started.

But, alas, I saw a penis at the ultrasound. No matter what women say, there just aren't as many cute things for boys. The clothes are okay, but bedding has been the hardest thing to find. I have found a few items. Not sure yet how to link the pics in here yet, so i'll try links.

Here's my first pick so far. http://www.bananafishinc.com/prodpg.php?product_id=1079
I'm not really into themes, so I thought this was doable.

My next two picks are by Glenna Jean. http://www.glennajean.com/pages/Mod%20Squad.html
and
http://www.glennajean.com/pages/Central%20Park.html

Let me know what you ladies think.

I'm still open to other option too, so if you have any recs, please send them my way.

In honor of Alison

I was thinking today about Father's Day and what I was going to get my Dad. It reminded me of Father's Day about 5 years ago.

I arrived at my parents house at about 11:00 a.m. and noticed that my parents were acting funny.

My Mom said, "should we tell her?"

My Dad said, "Yes."

My mom informed me that my rabbit Emily died that morning and that she was outside laying by the tree so that I could say goodbye.

I bought Emily in college, but my parents sort of inherited her when I moved out. Outside by the tree was my little Emily. My dog Hershey was by her side actually whimpering.

My Dad decided that we were going to have a funeral. I have mentioned before that I have a slightly quirky family. Well here's the perfect example of it.

My Dad gets out a shovel and digs a hole in Emily's favorite flower garden. I notice immediately that the hole is too small. Emily was a bit of a heifer. Anway, I mention to my dad that it is too small. He tells me it's fine.

My mom then proceeds to yell at him... "Bill, the hole is way to small."

He is mumbling angrily under his breath. I start to cry and shout at him to make the hole bigger. I can't help, but picture Emily's lifeless body being squeezed into that small hole and my crazy Dad trying to shove her into it.

He finally agrees after my mom and I yell at him for a few minutes.

And finally Emily is layed to rest. Not anyone's idea of a peaceful burial, but so typical of the Millers. A lot of yelling and arguing.

I love my parents.

On a sidenote.. My mom even gave Emily a bath after she died because apparently she was filthy. I love that my parents, shelter a woman in her late 20's from a bunny death.

My first blog

I am not sure that I will even get one reader, but if I do....this is for you. I will start by explaining the title of my blog. I was at a bar about 5 years ago or so and I met this hot young guy from Pennsylvania. He was telling lots of stories and he was quite the entertainer. He was telling us one story in particular when he said.."Picture your best day...now add a monkey." It doesn't get any better than that. I agree.