I see why women get the Mommy haircut.

It has always taken me at least an hour to an hour and a half to get ready. Blame it on me not being a natural beauty. I know, what a shocker. ;) Anyway, I take about 10-15 minutes on minimal makeup, but the most time consuming thing for me is my hair.

I was born with gobs of it and it isn't the kind that is wash and wear. My husband even calls me Bruce Villanch when I let it go natural. Unfortunately, I can't be one of those women that just cuts her hair shorter to save time. If anything, it takes me longer to control it when it is short.

So I have become one of those moms that looks a mess most days and doesn't even get her hair combed. In fact, I'm not even sure I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror until after 9:00 p.m. or so.

My options seem limited. Benjamin, you are just going to have to weather the storm with me by sitting patiently while I dry my hair. I will also try to limit how long it takes me to run a flat iron over it.

Never be one of those moms that says that you will never let yourself go. It happens to the best of us. Even the high maintenance girls like me.

Since I seem to be lagging at blogging lately, I have decided to give myself a challenge at the end of each post. My Challenge for next time will be to blog in a stream of conscienceness manner a la Jack Kerouac. Hard for my readers to read, but kind of neat for a Mommy with not a lot of time.

New Years Resolutions Starting January 7, 2009

I am not the type of person that makes these(mostly because I know I will break them.) However, I have decided that there are some things I need to change.

1. I must stop talking to my husband the way I do. Over the last few months, I find myself getting really short with him and I say some awful things. This causes him to respond in a not so nice way. It is not healthy and I need to stop.

2. I need to start eating healthier. We eat out way too much and that leads me to make unhealthy choices. There is no reason why I can't learn to meal plan and cook healthier alternatives.

3. I need to read more. I use to be the girl that devoured a few books a week. I need to spend more time reading again and ditch the TV. I mean do I really need to watch another episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County?

4. Be a great Mommy. I think I do alright, better than alright in my humble opinion. However, I want to be the best Mom. I want my children to look back on their lives and think I did a great job.

5. Become more organized. I want the organized calendar. I want my filing cabinet to be immaculate. No more piling papers up to be filed.

6. I want to start taking control of my health care again. I have always gone to the dentist, eye doctor, gynecologist, etc. like clock work. I hate to admit this, but I haven't been to the dentist in 4 years. Yikes!

That's it for now. No more excuses.

A Day in My Glamourous Life...

Baby Benjamin is particularly fussy today. He peed through his diaper this a.m. right on my newly washed sheets. He is also spitting up a lot today. He keeps spitting up when I lay him in his crib. The side of his face now smells like vomit. Bath time is coming early today.

Chewy is back to his regurgitating and vomiting. He threw up once on the chair and has regurgitated about 10 times on the carpet. Lovely.

Lola was walking around looking at her behind. I picked her up to wipe her with a baby wipe(Yes, I know I am sick. I wipe my Dog's butt. She deserves a clean bootie too,) and noticed she had poop stuck to her. I had to wash her little behind in the sink all while Benjamin screamed and Chewy spit up.

And people say that being a stay at home mom isn't work. I beg to differ.

My Mommy Must Haves...

If you are having a baby soon keep reading, if you aren't, you will probably be extremely bored.

These are things I find invaluable for me and Benjamin. :)

1. The Miracle Blanket. This little gem keeps my little Houdini swaddled through the night. Without it, he breaks free and has a very restless sleep. http://www.miracleblanket.com/

2. The Sweet Peace Swing- This swing is great. Benjamin didn't always love it, but it has always been great for me to put him in when I just need to go to the restroom or to eat a meal. He has fallen asleep in it a few times too. He seems to build up his tolerance for it and will stay in it longer and longer. A word of advice about this swing. The music on it is terrible. However, you can hook up your ipod to it and play your own music. Brian always reminds me that the music is for the baby, not me. He always refers to the music as Benjamin's "jam." http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/demos/sweetpeace/index_resize.html

3. The Rain forest Waterfall Peek A Boo Soother. This little thing is like baby crack. Benjamin loves it. He will stare at it in his crib and "talk" to it.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2455073&clickid=body_rv_txt

4. For you breastfeeding moms, the Brest Friend pillow. I really can't say enough about this pillow. Benjamin even takes a nap on it after he eats. It's fantastic. Oh, and I have a boppy too. It doesn't even compare. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2574807

5. Also for the breast feeding moms. Lansinoh breast pads. I have tired about 7 different ones and these are the only ones that don't leak for me. They are thin and cover a larger area. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793488

6. I also love the Hooter Hider. I bought it a few weeks ago and it is great for public places. It even has little pockets for your breast pads which is great for me. Before the hooter hider, I used a blanket. Benjamin would be done and I would inevitably lose a pad or two. Pretty awkward to find it stuck to the back of his head. :) http://shop.bebeaulait.com/

7. This bathtub. It comes with a little hammock. It is awesome because the baby is so slippery and the hammock makes it so much easier to wash the baby. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403667&cp=2777251

8. This diaper organizer. Truly one of the best purchases my husband made. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2394461

9. This diaper pail. Way better than the diaper genie. You don't have to use their bags and it keeps the smell away better. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2373422

10. I call this chair the best thing that ever happened to me. I got it as a gift and I spend hours on end rocking the baby in it. The ottoman is also a must have. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3012839

I am sure I can think of a few more things, so I will add more items if I think of them. I hope this helps some of you out there.

That was me a little over 2 months ago..

I went to lunch with 4 very lovely ladies yesterday. All four were at various stages of pregnancy. It is sometimes hard to remember what my life was like BB. Before Benjamin. ;)

I tried to keep myself engaged in the conversations, but found myself struggling to. I felt like I had to keep Benjamin entertained. I was fearful that he would turn into a screaming lunatic baby.

I really didn't want to get those looks of pity. The look of wow, can't you control your child or the jeez that baby sure is good birth control comments. I know people think them. I used to myself, BB. :)

I truly hope no one thought that I was not interested in their conversation. Quite the contrary. It was great to get the adult interaction. I truly apologize if it came off that I was uninterested.

I hope that we can all get together again after all of your new arrivals get here. Maybe then we will be 5 ladies trying to carry on conversations to no avail. :)

Sometimes you want to go...

where everybody knows your name.

So, I have always wanted to be the girl that walks into the bar and everyone shouts out my name. Well that technically never happened. However, I am sure in my youth, that there were several bartenders that knew what I wanted to drink when I came into the bar. First, there was Hogue Barmichaels, then Bennigans, then Riley's, then Sharkeez, then the Newport Beach Brewery, and finally Malarkeys. I frequented these bars at different times in my life and I knew the bouncers and bartenders and they knew me.

Fast forward to present day and the lady at Katy's Korner remembers that I order the B.L.A.T with french fries and a side of mayo(to dip my fries in along with some ketchup.)

Boy how my life has changed.

Not the Norm moment I was looking for, but I guess it will have to do.

Here it is...Benjamin's birth story.....

Okay, I may have been kidnapped by those pesky aliens I mentioned in the previous post. I am writing this a couple of weeks later, so my memory may only be partially erased. :)

My doctor was worried that Benjamin was big and because of my gd she scheduled an induction for August 25th. I was to report to the hospital on the 24th at 6:00 p.m. I kept hoping that the labor would come naturally, but little Benjamin just wasn't ready.

I, of course, tried to get my house prepared for guests. Thank God for my mother who gets on her hands and knees to clean the kitchen floor.

We checked in and they put me right into a gown and started the gel. Apparently this gel is used to soften the cervix. They inserted it a total of 3 times. The first time was with an exam. Not super comfortable, but not the worst I have ever experienced. The second exam was horrible and actually brought tears to my eyes. Not sure if the nurse had enormous fingers(or hands, since that is what it felt like,) or if she was just a sadist. Of course, I was only dilated to 1/2 cm at the beginning. I don't know how I lost 1/2 of cm in a week or if the nurses and doctors measure differently. Anyhow, this was the beginning of a long sleepless, uncomfortable night.

The nurses monitored my blood pressure and I had an iv in too. The actual worst part was a killer blood pressure cuff that monitored me every few minutes. I swear to God that thing just about cut off my circulation. Unfortunately it took the nurses until morning to realize that this thing had a death grip on me. Any hopes of sleep, went away with each horrible squeeze.

By 6:00 a.m they were ready to start the pitocin. Here's the thing....I expected that contractions came every 15 minutes or so and then worked there way from there. Oh no, not with pitocin. Apparently for me the contractions started to come every 2- 2 1/2 minutes with some ferocity. With each contraction I looked at the monitor and realized they were at about the 20 level. I kept thinking, "holy shit, what must 100 feel like?" By about 9:30 I started to think that I could use some advice about when to get an epidural. By this time I was trying to find a position to squat in during these contractions. I just couldn't catch my breath. One would end and the next was right behind it.

I asked for the epidural. I was at about 4-5 cm at this time. So, everyone says that the epidural is so relieving. Okay, but what if the doctor tells you to hold completely still while he sticks a huge needle in your back? Did I mention that he asked me to do this while I was in the middle of one of those heinous contractions? Not easy and I probably crushed Brian's hand in the process.

My mom arrived about this time and I started to feel gloriously better. I wouldn't say paralyzed, but I felt really sleepy. My mom and MIL chose to visit a lot for the next few hours. Brian's family noisily filled the waiting room. I looked at the computer, maybe watched the tv. I remember seeing my ob come in to check on me and I noticed she had on some perfectly pressed white pants. She always dresses flawlessly. Anyway, she left. Brian went for some grub and my mom came in. At about 3:00 or so, my mom was asked to leave when the nurse examined me. She said, "oh my you are all ready at 8 cm and your bag of waters is bursting out." The doctor then walks in and breaks it. I didn't feel a thing. I guess that was good because, my friend Cara gave birth a few days after me and said that it hurt.

From then on, I thought it could be anytime. However, Benjamin was firmly planted in the birth canal and wasn't making much progress. The nurses were flipping me from side to side about every 45 minutes or so. I was in and out at this time. Super sleepy. Brian came back from food and was sad that he missed the water breaking, but happy that I was dilating. A few hours later panic set in.

When the nurse turned me on my left side, the baby's heart rate dropped. She decided that I was to stay on my right side. My blood pressure was really irregular and higher than normal. My glucose levels were also really low and so they were forcing me to drink juice. At this point, all I wanted to do was sleep. The nurse told Brian that she was worried and that she was calling the doctor to come in. I could tell that she was thinking it was time for a C-section. I started to tear up a little bit because it was the last thing I wanted. At this time my mom came in again and Brian kind of let her in on what was happening. He wasn't going to worry anyone until he knew for sure what was happening.

It seemed like hours before the dr arrived. I think it was more like an hour. She walked in said I was dilated to 10 and that I was to start pushing. My mom was leaving thinking, "oh, thank God he is almost here." Then the nurse said something that made my mom crazy....."the pushing usually will last for 1-3 hours."

To a normal woman, this may seem reasonable to my mother, her labors don't last that long. She was worried about how tired I was. They had put me on oxygen about an hour before and I was exhausted.

Somehow, I started to push. I couldn't really move my legs at first, but feeling came back quickly. The anesthesiologist came back in just before to give me something since the epidural was now gone. Whatever it was, it didn't really work. Not that it mattered, it wasn't that bad, just exhausting.

So here's my biggest complaint....Why in the hell do they have a huge clock in my view? I kept looking at it thinking, how much longer? Every time the freaking nurse or Brian said he's almost here, I wanted to scream..."You said that 1/2 an hour ago." I remember getting real whiny and telling Brian I couldn't do it anymore. But I plugged on. I pushed every contraction, every two minutes, three times each contraction for two whole hours. That's a lot of freaking pushing. At some point other nurses were piling in. The pediatric nurse would try to get me to push 4 times for each contraction. I secretly wanted her dead. She also decided to pepper me with stupid questions at this point. I closed my eyes. When she asked me what I was going to name the baby, I snapped and suddenly got angry at Brian. I punched him in the chest(lightly according to my recollection) and said, "Answer Her."

A few minutes later, Benjamin's head popped out and then his shoulders. When they held him up, all I could think was..."He's huge." Brian cut the cord and they started getting him cleaned up. It seem to take forever and I just wanted to hold him. Brian counted fingers and toes and took a picture of him on the scale. He looked great. Found out he got a 9 and a 9 on the Apgar taken at birth and 5 minutes after birth I think. Leave it to our child to be an overachiever so early on. Doesn't take after his momma in that respect. :)

Benjamin Joseph was 22 inches long, 8 pounds, 11 ounces and just about as perfect as you can get. I fell in love at first sight.

Things happened quickly after that, Brian left to make announcements. They stitched me up and cleaned up super fast and transformed the room for guests in a matter of minutes. I had a rush of adrenaline after he came out. I was super excited and wide awake.

I tried to spare the gorier details. I think Brian saw a lot more than he needed too.

I also wanted to mention that all of the nursing staff at San Ramon were awesome. I couldn't have asked for better care. Every nurse came in and helped with whatever I needed, be it food or nursing tips. I think that I wouldn't have been that successful at breastfeeding if it weren't for all of the nurses involved.
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Okay....here is the truth about how I felt about labor...I was pretty disappointed with my pain tolerance. I really thought I could have done it without pain meds and instead I caved pretty early on. I learned later that they can really only track the frequency of contractions and not the level of pain or how strong they are. That would have been nice to know before I asked for the epidural. I wished I would have been in better shape. I wished I would have taken some yoga classes. I wished I would have been better prepared. I was kind of kicking myself the first week because I thought maybe the epidural impeded progress and that maybe Benjamin could have been born earlier.

2 weeks later...I am no longer kicking myself because the end result would have been the same...A beautiful, HEALTHY, perfect, little boy named Benjamin Joseph. ;)