Britton's Birth Story

I really wanted to experience a genuine labor with this baby. With Benjamin, I never even felt a contraction until the pitocin kicked in the morning of my induction. Holy hell those contractions were strong.

My due date was the 14th this time around. I was getting so uncomfortable and impatient so I scheduled my induction for the following Tuesday when my doctor would return from vacation. All the while, I was willing myself to go into labor that weekend. On the 14th, I scheduled a mani/pedi with my nail girl. I swear it was the best mani/pedi I ever had. I said to her, "if foot massage can put me into labor, this will do it."

That night I awoke at about 2:00 feeling uncomfortable. Around 3:30, my husband woke up and I told him I was having some contractions. I mentioned maybe he should time them. Each contraction was pretty painful. They were spaced about 7 minutes apart, then they moved to 9 minutes, then back to 7 minutes. My husband said this is it and I mentioned some women have contractions for weeks and obviously mine were inconsistent at that point.

A few hours later, they seemed to be getting closer and closer together. Brian was keeping track in his iphone. I kept saying I would jump in the shower as soon as I felt like we needed to go. Well, that plan became madness because each time I was about to get in the shower, another contraction would come. I finally made it in the shower. Had two in the shower(it actually felt nicer to have them with the hot water running down on me.) By the time I got out, Brian was in a sheer panic. He lectured me while I ran back and forth from the bathroom to our bed during each contraction. By this time they were about 2 minutes apart and it was after 7:00 a.m. He lectured me while I brushed my teeth. He said.."do you really need to use your toothbrush through three timed uses?" The answer was a resounding yes.

Well, we woke up my mom and managed to make it out the door. Didn't really have a bag packed. I had asked my harried husband to pack a few things, but I think he was a bit overwhelmed and worried that I might deliver in his beloved Ford Lightening. I had 2 more contractions on the way to the hospital. I really wanted the epidural in the parking lot and I informed Brian of this. We checked in at 7:50 and I was lucky enough to get the same room I had Ben in. Had another contraction before I even changed into a gown. Sat down and demanded the nurse get me that epidural STAT. It was all quite a blur until I got the epidural. It seemed like an hour before the Dr arrived to administer it. All the while I was telling Brian..."I need drugs now!" The nurse checked me said I was 5 cm. She then told the Dr I was between 5-7 with hand motions. WTF? Is it 5 OR 7?

This is where Brian lost his mind(and almost his balls.) When I demanded the epidural again, Brian said, "Relax, you are only 5 cm." Okay, not the support I was looking for. If his balls would have been in reach, I swear he would have been missing one.

I got the epidural at 8 cm. This time when it was going in, I felt a weird sensation down one side. It shot all the way down my hip. I mentioned it to the Dr. She said it happens that way sometimes and that they would try and out me on my side to see if the meds spread to the other side. She came back several times to see if I needed something more. I actually felt the contractions and a lot of sensation which helped when it came time to push. A little while later, I felt my water break. Then, I felt a little back pain, Brian mentioned it to the nurse and she checked and said, you are at 10 cm, its time to push.

This time around, I was invigorated, not exhausted. I felt I could push and I felt the progress fast. At one point the nurse made me stop pushing so that we could wait for the Dr to arrive. By 11:10 a.m Britton was here. She had swallowed some amniotic fluid, so they worked on her for awhile. I was bummed that she was out of my sight for so long. I noticed then that the Dr was working on me a bit too long. I asked if their were complications, but didn't find out until later that the cord detached from the placenta before she could remove it. Took her awhile to get everything under control and it killed me to not hold our little girl.

Then, there she was. 8lbs, 6 oz and 21 inches long. The girl that kept me up all night while she partied in my tummy. I have to be honest. I didn't have the immediate maternal love for her that I had for Ben. It was different and it took the whole day to totally fall in love with her.

But now I am madly in love with her. And now our family is complete...Or is it? :)

A positive post

Just to show you that I am capable of being an optimist...

As the beginning of 2010 takes place, I realize that I am truly thankful for everything 2009 brought me.

Brian and I were fortunate enough to buy our first house this year and it is truly a fun experience making it our home. Sure Brian wanted to leave the walls all white and he told me that he didn't really believe in putting up pictures, but everyone knows that men know nothing about making a house a home. He can stick to landscaping the backyard. Have I mention that I hate getting my nails dirty? No yard work for moi.

Ben is healthy and growing like a weed. He is truly a joy to watch everyday and I am so thankful to be his mommy. I can't believe that he is almost 16 months old. Boggles the mind.

Our little family is growing quite nicely. It seems just perfect that we are having a girl. I can't stop imagining what she will be like and how cute her clothes will be.

Our immediate families are all pretty healthy and we are super lucky that we always have their support and love.

I am especially thankful that it seems that I have transitioned into a Northern California girl and that I have made true friends locally. I don't know if I would have kept my sanity this year without all of the advice and support of all my new friends. It is hard to put into words just how important friendships are in this life, so I will just say that I am truly blessed in this area.

Oh and I am really thankful for my husband. The man drives me crazy on a daily basis, but I can't imagine taking this journey with anybody else.

"You're crazy when you are pregnant."

These are the lovely words my husband threw at me in the middle of a fight last week. If you knew me, you would realize that when someone blames women's hormones for behavior, I just lose it. I am not sure I believe in PMS. There I said it. I do think that hormones play a part in how you are feeling, but to flat out call me crazy is a little much.

Besides, that bastard hasn't seen crazy. I hope he doesn't make me pull it out one day.

WTF?

Motherhood has officially kicked me in the ass. I had this running debate with friends on what was worse. Morning sickness with dry heaving and no result or morning sickness with very violent vomiting(unfortunately I experienced both.)

I am one of the lucky ones that gets to experience morning sickness throughout the day. First pregnancy it started around 9 weeks or so. This pregnancy at about 5 weeks. I was feeling pretty smug that it didn't seem to be quite as bad as before. Damn me and my smugness.

Today was my little slap in the face. Quite literally, as I am puking, water and god knows what sprayed me in the face as I puked into the porcelain God. Not only was I vomiting right after I ate one little piece of toast, but those lovely muscles "down there" decided to fail me and make me piss myself just as my husband was coming in to check on me.

Thank you Motherhood for taking that time to make me realize that it could be worse. I was just starting to accept the stretch marks left behind by Benjamin. Now I also have this little gift to look forward to.

Why do I blog?

I am part of an online community of women. It is full of smart, supportive, and amazing ladies. The lovely Liz has decided to give us blog challenges. No surprise here that I am doing it late. :)

Why do I blog?

This is such an interesting way to start. Honestly, I started to blog so that I could write a little diary to myself to remember what life was like during my pregnancy. If I am being honest with myself, it was to show people how I was a person separate from my child. I had a lot of worries that I would become a Mommy and that no one would see me as anything else.

I have always loved writing. I wrote my first play in 3rd grade and my first book at 16. My first play involved the adventures of Strawberry Shortcake and her gang. I even got my friends to act it out for our class. I believe that this was a key time in my creative process. My teacher at the time, couldn't stand me and never tried to foster my writing skills. My book was my foray into the romance genre. I haven't read it in years, but I would guess that it was pretty terrible.

I wasn't sure what to do when I got to college, so I majored in English. What else does a girl who likes to read and write do? I had an awful case of writer's block my senior year and decided then and there that I couldn't be a writer. I have been intimidated by writing ever since. Truth be told, this blog is the closest thing to writing that I have done since college.

I don't know how to post pictures and this blog has blossomed into a "Mommy" blog, but I am okay with that. I am also okay with how I have changed since becoming a mommy. I am a lot more patient in some ways and a a little less self centered.

I hope this answered the question or that it gave you, the reader, a little more insight into who I am.

I look forward to more blog challenges.

and I'm afraid Benjamin's first real sentence will involve

the term "F'ing douchebag." I need to clean up my language.

I'm a bad blogger...

So much for my dream of being like the girl from dooce. I love her and I want to be payed for my blog. Any sponsors out there?

A lot has been happening in the Cerruti household lately. We bought a house. We haven't moved in yet, but we are super close. We are so happy about it. It is truly becoming a labor of love. Brian's labor, my love.

Benjamin celebrated his very first birthday. He looked adorable smashing his cake. It seemed to go on and on. The kid loves to be a ham and loved the attention. Not sure where he gets that from.

Just as I was preparing to enjoy the new hot tub at the new digs, I find out that we are expecting #2. We are super excited and can't wait to find out if Benjamin will have a little brother or sister.
Maybe this week I will be motivated to catch up more on this blog. Don't hold your breath.

Stinkerpants Giveaway

I am totally in love with Sara's designs at Stinkerpants Designs. I have been eyeing an ABC poster there for weeks. Lucky for me, my mom wants to purchase it today. :)

Sara is doing a giveaway to one lucky winner. Go to http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/living/2009/08/25/stinkerpants-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-2556

or to
http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/living/2009/08/25/stinkerpants-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-2556

for details.

So much has happened in the last few months...

I have been reminded a few times how much I have lagged in blogging lately. Not really surprising to me. I tend to be a huge procrastinator. Shocking, to those that know me. ;o

Benjamin has changed so much in the last 2 months. The biggest milestone is that he has learned to crawl and pull himself up. I am afraid that he seems to have my knack for banging himself into things. For me it is my extremities for him it is his head.

Not a day goes by that people don't tell me how cute you are. I would usually chalk it up to bs, but it is so true. Every day someone comments on your beautiful long eyelashes. You got that from the Millers. Thank goodness my Grandpa passed on that awesome trait.

You are truly an easy baby and I feel so lucky to be your mama. You have 6 teeth and eat like a champ. Love most veggies and fruit. You are now getting shredded chicken, cheese, and toast. You seem to have my carb addiction too. You love grilled and cheese quesadillas.

You are so in love with your Daddy too. I have heard that boys are always Mama's boys, but you reach for your Daddy whenever you see him. Every night after your bath, you practically jump out of my arms to get to him. Can't really blame you, Daddy gives great hugs. :)

You also have a lot of new baby friends. You don't seem super interested in playing with them. You mostly just wants to poke them, steal their toy, or pull their hair. This seems to be more of a Cerruti trait. ;)

Much to my chagrin, you seem to have Daddy's personality too. You are stingy with the laugh and smile. Luckily, you aren't like this at home. I hope you have a little bit of Mommy in there too. It is good to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

You love bath time, crawling after Chewy to get his toy, trying to pull Lola's hair, and chewing on a pacifier.

Your first birthday is approaching and it actually makes me a bit teary eyed. Where did the year go?

There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed.

MAMA!

Yesterday was Benjamin's 7 month birthday. He also chose this day to say his first word. "Mama." I can't tell you how excited it makes me that he chose this to be his first word. You hear that "dada" is easier for them. I assumed he would say that first.

Actually it has been a running joke in our house that his first words would be "CHEW CHEW" followed by "NO!" These are the words spoken most often by Brian and I when we are trying to stop Chewy from doing something wrong. ;)

Of course, I wasn't even in the room when he chose to say mama. I was putting away laundry and daddy was holding him. I heard it though and it warmed my heart. He repeated it over and over for his Daddy. Just smiled at me when I tried to get him to say it again.

What I didn't expect was that I would feel awful hearing it at 5:15 this morning. Benjamin woke up wet. I had to change his pajamas and any mother knows how much a baby hates to be changed in the middle of the night. Usually Benjamin cries. It makes me sad. This morning he chose to say "MAMA" over and over again as if he was begging and pleading with me to stop. It seriously broke my heart. Made me want to cry.

Anyway, they say they grow up too fast and to enjoy it while you can. I believe "they" are right.

I've hit an all time low. TMI

So Benjamin is not much of a napper. If he does nap it usually involves falling asleep while nursing. He unlatches and will sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour. I cherish this time. I can type on the computer or eat lunch if it is already prepared.

Anyway, imagine how bad I felt when just minutes into said nap, I had to go to the bathroom. Bad. I knew that if I woke him, he would not go back to sleep. My dilemma was that I would have to let him sleep on my Breast Friend Pillow or put him in his crib where he would cry and be generally unhappy for hours. This seemed like a no brainer to me.

What I didn't mention is that I sometimes don't rehook my bra when he unlatches. So this time I decided to get up and Benjamin took his sleepy opportunity to latch on again. So here I was Breastfeeding while on the pot. Gross and possibly unsanitary to say the least.

Seriously I am the person that has the worst stage fright when it comes to going to the bathroom when others are around. Even if they are rooms away.

Moral of the Story-You never know what lengths you will go to for a sleeping baby.

The Sisterhood of Motherhood?

I have always disliked women ripping on women. I never understood why a woman blames another woman when their spouse or significant other cheats. That woman didn't take a vow. She obviously is just another woman with low self esteem and is willing to take some one's sloppy seconds. I am not letting a woman off the hook for it, I am just saying she isn't the one you should have a beef with. I digress.......

When it comes to Motherhood, women become extremely judgemental and catty. There are so many options and everyone thinks that they are making the best choice for their baby. Should I breastfeed or bottle feed? Should I use cloth diapers, co-sleep, go back to work full-time? There are so many questions and no matter what choice you make, you feel guilty for making it.

It all starts with your birth plan. Are you going natural? If not expect to hear from a few(or more) about how natural is the way to go. I fell into the trap and had misgivings about caving and asking for an epidural. I felt a little better later when others mentioned that Pitocin also made contractions come fast and hard. I still cried about it a week post baby because I felt like a bit of a failure.

I feel bad that any woman would feel judged in a group of her peers. I mean really? Are you so sure of every choice you make about being a parent?

Honestly, the things I remember about what make my Mom a great mom have nothing to do with the choices she made when I was an infant. My mom is a great mom because of all of the wonderful memories I have. Here are a few....

1. My earliest memory is of my mother walking me to preschool. We would sing "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. Think I'll eat some worms."
2. My mother was always there for me. She worked full time, but always answered her phone at work and talked to me.
3. My mother had no problem with driving me to dance, to the mall, or to the movies to meet my friends.
4. She listened to me chatter on incessantly about my friends and what they were up to. She also listened to me talk about my latest crush. Believe me I had a lot of crushes over the years.
5. My mother also had to endure living with a very unhappy family when we were uprooted and moved to another state.
6. I respected my mother so much more when I had my own baby. There was a new understanding that I find hard to put into words. Most importantly, I was able to sleep while my mother rocked and comforted Benjamin. All new mothers know how important their sleep is. ;)

Anyway, my point is I don't have any recollection of my mother having a super easy and med free birth. I don't remember her breastfeeding me for 14 months. I don't remember cloth diapers. What I do remember is that she loved me with all she had and that she made the right choices for HER. In the end shouldn't that be the right choice for your child?

The Days of Sleeping Through the Night Are Long Gone.

Benjamin has decided that he no longer requires sleep. The doctor thinks I should start stuffing him with solids. Day one of that experiment proved futile. I am so exhausted, but I am thankful that we experienced 5 1/2 months of good sleeping.

I have found a correlation between my mood and the state of my hair and skin at that very moment.

If my hair is freshly highlighted and cut, I feel great. If my skin is clear and balanced, I feel great. My hair is a mess and my skin couldn't be any worse, I feel like sh!t.

I can't see a dermatologist today and I can't get my hair done until next week, I think it's time to go shopping. Momma needs a new pair of shoes.

I see why women get the Mommy haircut.

It has always taken me at least an hour to an hour and a half to get ready. Blame it on me not being a natural beauty. I know, what a shocker. ;) Anyway, I take about 10-15 minutes on minimal makeup, but the most time consuming thing for me is my hair.

I was born with gobs of it and it isn't the kind that is wash and wear. My husband even calls me Bruce Villanch when I let it go natural. Unfortunately, I can't be one of those women that just cuts her hair shorter to save time. If anything, it takes me longer to control it when it is short.

So I have become one of those moms that looks a mess most days and doesn't even get her hair combed. In fact, I'm not even sure I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror until after 9:00 p.m. or so.

My options seem limited. Benjamin, you are just going to have to weather the storm with me by sitting patiently while I dry my hair. I will also try to limit how long it takes me to run a flat iron over it.

Never be one of those moms that says that you will never let yourself go. It happens to the best of us. Even the high maintenance girls like me.

Since I seem to be lagging at blogging lately, I have decided to give myself a challenge at the end of each post. My Challenge for next time will be to blog in a stream of conscienceness manner a la Jack Kerouac. Hard for my readers to read, but kind of neat for a Mommy with not a lot of time.

New Years Resolutions Starting January 7, 2009

I am not the type of person that makes these(mostly because I know I will break them.) However, I have decided that there are some things I need to change.

1. I must stop talking to my husband the way I do. Over the last few months, I find myself getting really short with him and I say some awful things. This causes him to respond in a not so nice way. It is not healthy and I need to stop.

2. I need to start eating healthier. We eat out way too much and that leads me to make unhealthy choices. There is no reason why I can't learn to meal plan and cook healthier alternatives.

3. I need to read more. I use to be the girl that devoured a few books a week. I need to spend more time reading again and ditch the TV. I mean do I really need to watch another episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County?

4. Be a great Mommy. I think I do alright, better than alright in my humble opinion. However, I want to be the best Mom. I want my children to look back on their lives and think I did a great job.

5. Become more organized. I want the organized calendar. I want my filing cabinet to be immaculate. No more piling papers up to be filed.

6. I want to start taking control of my health care again. I have always gone to the dentist, eye doctor, gynecologist, etc. like clock work. I hate to admit this, but I haven't been to the dentist in 4 years. Yikes!

That's it for now. No more excuses.

A Day in My Glamourous Life...

Baby Benjamin is particularly fussy today. He peed through his diaper this a.m. right on my newly washed sheets. He is also spitting up a lot today. He keeps spitting up when I lay him in his crib. The side of his face now smells like vomit. Bath time is coming early today.

Chewy is back to his regurgitating and vomiting. He threw up once on the chair and has regurgitated about 10 times on the carpet. Lovely.

Lola was walking around looking at her behind. I picked her up to wipe her with a baby wipe(Yes, I know I am sick. I wipe my Dog's butt. She deserves a clean bootie too,) and noticed she had poop stuck to her. I had to wash her little behind in the sink all while Benjamin screamed and Chewy spit up.

And people say that being a stay at home mom isn't work. I beg to differ.

My Mommy Must Haves...

If you are having a baby soon keep reading, if you aren't, you will probably be extremely bored.

These are things I find invaluable for me and Benjamin. :)

1. The Miracle Blanket. This little gem keeps my little Houdini swaddled through the night. Without it, he breaks free and has a very restless sleep. http://www.miracleblanket.com/

2. The Sweet Peace Swing- This swing is great. Benjamin didn't always love it, but it has always been great for me to put him in when I just need to go to the restroom or to eat a meal. He has fallen asleep in it a few times too. He seems to build up his tolerance for it and will stay in it longer and longer. A word of advice about this swing. The music on it is terrible. However, you can hook up your ipod to it and play your own music. Brian always reminds me that the music is for the baby, not me. He always refers to the music as Benjamin's "jam." http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/demos/sweetpeace/index_resize.html

3. The Rain forest Waterfall Peek A Boo Soother. This little thing is like baby crack. Benjamin loves it. He will stare at it in his crib and "talk" to it.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2455073&clickid=body_rv_txt

4. For you breastfeeding moms, the Brest Friend pillow. I really can't say enough about this pillow. Benjamin even takes a nap on it after he eats. It's fantastic. Oh, and I have a boppy too. It doesn't even compare. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2574807

5. Also for the breast feeding moms. Lansinoh breast pads. I have tired about 7 different ones and these are the only ones that don't leak for me. They are thin and cover a larger area. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793488

6. I also love the Hooter Hider. I bought it a few weeks ago and it is great for public places. It even has little pockets for your breast pads which is great for me. Before the hooter hider, I used a blanket. Benjamin would be done and I would inevitably lose a pad or two. Pretty awkward to find it stuck to the back of his head. :) http://shop.bebeaulait.com/

7. This bathtub. It comes with a little hammock. It is awesome because the baby is so slippery and the hammock makes it so much easier to wash the baby. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403667&cp=2777251

8. This diaper organizer. Truly one of the best purchases my husband made. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2394461

9. This diaper pail. Way better than the diaper genie. You don't have to use their bags and it keeps the smell away better. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2373422

10. I call this chair the best thing that ever happened to me. I got it as a gift and I spend hours on end rocking the baby in it. The ottoman is also a must have. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3012839

I am sure I can think of a few more things, so I will add more items if I think of them. I hope this helps some of you out there.

That was me a little over 2 months ago..

I went to lunch with 4 very lovely ladies yesterday. All four were at various stages of pregnancy. It is sometimes hard to remember what my life was like BB. Before Benjamin. ;)

I tried to keep myself engaged in the conversations, but found myself struggling to. I felt like I had to keep Benjamin entertained. I was fearful that he would turn into a screaming lunatic baby.

I really didn't want to get those looks of pity. The look of wow, can't you control your child or the jeez that baby sure is good birth control comments. I know people think them. I used to myself, BB. :)

I truly hope no one thought that I was not interested in their conversation. Quite the contrary. It was great to get the adult interaction. I truly apologize if it came off that I was uninterested.

I hope that we can all get together again after all of your new arrivals get here. Maybe then we will be 5 ladies trying to carry on conversations to no avail. :)

Sometimes you want to go...

where everybody knows your name.

So, I have always wanted to be the girl that walks into the bar and everyone shouts out my name. Well that technically never happened. However, I am sure in my youth, that there were several bartenders that knew what I wanted to drink when I came into the bar. First, there was Hogue Barmichaels, then Bennigans, then Riley's, then Sharkeez, then the Newport Beach Brewery, and finally Malarkeys. I frequented these bars at different times in my life and I knew the bouncers and bartenders and they knew me.

Fast forward to present day and the lady at Katy's Korner remembers that I order the B.L.A.T with french fries and a side of mayo(to dip my fries in along with some ketchup.)

Boy how my life has changed.

Not the Norm moment I was looking for, but I guess it will have to do.